~ the other shoe dropped ~
For 2 weeks now, I've been trying to figure out what to say about my health and my recent update. So many of you have been more than kind to ask how I'm feeling, and send me all kinds of love, or stop by to say hello, or ask how you can help...... I have appreciated all your thoughtfulness more than I can express! It's been odd for me to have something hang on for so long, and instead of it just getting better, have to go down an unexpected road and delve into the world of specialists and an actual diagnosis. But one thing led to another and unbeknownst to me, suspicions arose. After scans and blood work and exams and x-rays and poking, I found myself sitting in my new rheumatologist's exam room with my cousin Shell, being told that I have an auto-immune disease called Lupus. Which, if you already don't know, is one of the strangest, crappiest, lamest, crazy ass diseases EVER.I'm not going to delve into the ridiculousness which is Lupus, because all I really want to do is give you an overview and be on my merry way. So let's see..... they think I've had Lupus for a long time - some of my symptoms were traced back 15 or 20 years :/ That explains a LOT actually, and for that reason I am grateful for good specialists and an actual diagnosis. I just thought I was a total WUSSY all these years. Validation of not being a wuss is a very good thing. So for me, at this particular time, Lupus means:
- my sinuses are impacted and need to drain
- I have severe anemia
- my immune system is compromised and highly vulnerable
- my body aches and pain is from rheumatoid arthritis everywhere
- I have a large mystery lump on my arm that needs to be seen
- all these years of my head sweating like a freaking waterfall were from Lupus!!!Auto-immune diseases suck. Because your body is fighting itself. And Lupus whips up an endless array of the strangest things - from turning one person's eyelashes white to shutting down another person's kidneys. It can be absolutely wicked or go dormant. The stupidest thing about Lupus, is that it does what it wants no matter how committed you are to living healthy - and it comes and goes as it pleases, so you never know when it's going to rear it's ugly head or what it's going to do to you. I'm not one to panic at all, but even I have to admit, that freaks me out a little. But I'm still committed to pouring everything healthy that's possible into my body, and eating healthy too - I did a complete 180 even before my diagnosis came down. So it's all good.
Right now I'm taking prednisone, which makes my eyes feel all grainy and is starting to puff up my face. I may not get to full bobble head status before they start tapering me off (thank heaven!) but yesterday Davy called me Mrs. Puff and I may or may not have hurt him :/ I also take several pills every Friday night that are apparently for my arthritis - I call them my "Friday Night Special" - and they pretty much make me feel like I have the flu all weekend. But I just had new blood work done, and will be seen soon, and we'll go from there as far as any more treatment/medication/blah, blah, blahhhhhhhhhhh.
* thanks to Shell for her genius idea of
taking a sequence of photos with my shoe dropping!
I love this last pic cuz it looks like my shoe is yelling.
It's yelling "I'm gonna kick yer arse, Lupus!" :D
We're all given things to deal with, and I've had my things over the years too - mainly my super fun migraines. But I'm a big believer that we're given what we can deal with, and if given the choice, we wouldn't trade our trials for anyone else's. I believe that. I also believe in finding the silver lining, dealing with reality in an optimistic way, the glass being half full, faith gets us through anything, everything eventually works out, there are very few coincidences in life, my prayers are heard, laughter is the best medicine, and in counting your blessings every day no matter what. So that's the scoop, and I'll take it from here, and it's all good :)